Friday, July 31, 2009

What Would You Do...?

I am a registered cat breeder. I do not get along with my mother %26 have basically cut her out of my life.
When I became a breeder she made it VERY clear she thought this was a BAD idea. Recently when I was ill she came around %26 it seems she has fallen in love with an older kitten I have that I just cannot find a home for.
In May I had asked my mother a few key questions about getting a second cat as I knew she wanted a friend for her current cat, %26 I was going to offer her this kitten I have as I know he is EXACTLY what she would want.%26 she made it 100% clear that she did not want another cat at the time.
Now she has MET the kitten she is constantly dropping hints that she loves him %26 thinks he's gorgeous etc etc.
I am still tempted to offer him to her again, but since she basically flung my offer back in my face when I last made the suggestion I am reluctant to do so.also I think my husband has fallen in love with the kitten.
What should I do?
Answers:
Cat breeding is not all kittens and cuteness. It can be an expensive hobby with a lot of responsibility. As a cat breeder, we want to get the best possible homes for our cats, irregardless of the money involved. If you do it right, you can't make money breeding cats anyway. Then there's the kitten that just doesn't find a home right away. He still deserves a good home, so the question is: would your mother make a good home for the cat? Since she already has one cat and has told you that she was 100% clear she did not want another cat, I think that 's the end of the story. I'd plan on talking to my husband about it, and plan on keeping the kitten for now. If your mother truly wants the kitten, all she has to do is ask, rather than hinting around, because hints have a way of being misinterpreted. If she loves him and says he's so gorgeous, she might not necessarily want him. She might just want to visit him. Because you and your mother don't get along, you could be reading this wrong, and she could be giving you mixed signals. You offered the kitten once, she said no. She could always change her mind, but then that would mean she'd need to talk to you about it. I can also see that you're reluctant to offer the kitten because it's hard to accept being shot down. So I'd say give it time and the answer will reveal itself.
As far as I'm concerned, there is always room for one more cat (or two).
just live with it not like your gonna die
Give your mom the cat! Next time she comes over and plays with the kitten, just say, "mom, why don't you just take him/her home with you. I don't need any more cats and I know you love him/her. If you want him/her you can take him/her."
I think that would be great. Anger doesn't know who it's mad at, so don't be angry with your mom, start forgiving her by giving her this kitten she loves.
If she says no, then your husband gets to keep the kitten he loves! Win-win situaiton!
Check with hubby first, if he says it's okay to give it to your mom, then give it to her. Even with all the problems you may be having with her, she's your mom and who knows, maybe it will help mend the fences. Sometimes one person has to make the first move and just be "nice" to help a situation. Mom's love you no matter what..unconditionally. Even when you're not close.
If your husband wants it, keep it. He is your first priority now not your mom.
Offer her the kitten.

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